You are worth boundaries, too!

Setting boundaries seems easy until it is YOU setting the boundary. Boundaries can take shape in many different ways. There are physical boundaries, emotional boundaries, sexual boundaries, time boundaries, and many others. No matter the type of boundary, they will always be hard to set. 

Boundaries often outline the expectations for a relationship. When there is no expectation, this might bring discomfort or even a violation of one's own personal space/time/resources. 

Have you ever felt frustrated with a friend because they ask to borrow something then never give it back? OR

Have you felt suffocated in a relationship because your partner(s) wanted to spend every minute with you? OR

Have you felt uncomfortable with the way a friend touched your leg, arm, or other intimate areas?

These are prime examples of a violation of boundaries. When setting boundaries, it is important to think about what YOU value as a person. If you’re unsure what those values are (which it is OKAY to admit), use this link or this link to discover what those are for you.

How to set healthy boundaries:

• Evaluate current boundaries 

• What do I like? What do I dislike? What can be changed to match my values?

• Consider how you feel about the person and/or situations

• What emotions are coming out around this person or situation? Is this how you wish to feel around them?

• Say “no”

• It is always important to say “no” when you are asked to do something you do not want to. “No is a full sentence.”

• Communicate

• Always communicate to those who you are setting boundaries with. Communication is the key to successful boundary setting esp if the person was not aware of the boundary before. 

Boundaries are often confusing and challenging. Having a strong support system can be crucial to help navigate these situations. Here at Unity Counseling, we would be honored to discuss more with you about boundary setting and how to move forward with healthy relationships.