Trauma is Not Your Future
Trauma can look like many different things to different people. Trauma can distort the way we look at things and interpret information. This can sometimes cause us to react to situations in a way that might not serve you the best. Why does this happen?
There is a part of our brain, the Amygdala, that is responsible for the fear response. It is the part that is supposed to protect us from harmful external stimuli. Now, the Amygdala does not always know what perceived fear is and what is actual danger. For example, the Amygdala does not always know if there is a bear running at us while we are in the woods or if we are simply PERCEIVING a bear running at us in the woods. There is a HUGE difference, right? Our brain operates on previous experiences (such as childhood experiences) or connections that had a huge impact on us (i.e. Trauma). When the Amygdala sends danger signals, the rest of our brain shuts down and jumps into either fight, flight, freeze or fawn. These responses are also known as the trauma responses. So when you get into a heated argument with a partner or friend? What happens??
Mostly seen with individuals who have experienced trauma, our amygdala says “DANGER!!!!!” Then we automatically fall into our trauma response (More on discovering what type of trauma response you have linked below). “What now, Megan? I know my trauma response is fawn. What can I do to change this pattern?”
BRILLIANT QUESTION!
Here are a few tips with fawn response:
• Affirmations! Remind yourself that you are worth the boundaries. You deserve to have your needs and wants met. This can be done through guided journaling, regular journaling, put a sticky note on your mirror, whatever you feel comfortable doing to remind yourself. Hint: Try adding “I am willing to believe….”
• Validate! Validate! Validate! Validate your own emotions. An easy way to accomplish this is by reflecting on your day, choosing one emotion you felt, and asking yourself “Why is this important? Why is this emotion validate?”
Here are a few tips with flight response:
• Take small steps towards not fleeing the scene of the crime. For example, if you normally flee to your car and drive away from your home. Try moving to a different room instead. Safety tip: This does not and will never apply to your personal safety. If you are in danger, do what you need to do to keep yourself safe.
• Set a timer for 15-20 minutes then come back to the scene of the crime.
Here are a few tips with fight response:
• Set a timer for 15-20 minutes but always come back to acknowledge the situation.
• Validate! Validate! Validate your emotions and remind yourself “You are safe!”
Here are a few tips with freeze response:
• Say something, anything! This can be “I need a minute I am being triggered.” Or “I need a min.”
• Take some time to remind your amygdala that you are safe. Sometimes this might take a few affirmations of “I am safe.” This might take a few minutes of meditation, your favorite song, whatever will remind your amygdala that there is indeed, not a bear running at you.
As a reminder, these are not the ONLY ways to help with your trauma response. I do recommend reaching out to a mental health professional and processing through the trauma, as well. Life can be hard and sticky. You always need someone on your side. You deserve someone on your side!
Find your trauma response here: https://www.mindbodygreen.com/.../fight-flight-freeze...